Everything that is wrong with the cinema

I don't recall getting on a plane this evening, yet somehow I ended up watching Captain America: Civil War in Antarctica...

I mean seriously, has anyone that works at a cinema ever actually sat through a 2 hour film? Because they have the air-con blasting like they're showing a 4D documentary on the Sahara desert or something.

Almost freezing to death however, was not the first issue I faced this evening. £3.50 for a bag of peanut M&M's is a joke, if you don't go to the closest B&M, Home Bargains or Poundland before the cinema, to stock up on snacks, then should you even actually be trusted with money?

It's been worse, much worse, I've had backpacks full of sweets, chocolates, drinks and even a KFC snackbox stuffed into my coat pocket once before and been allowed in. But NO, today they decided to check my bag, £3.02 I spent on that popcorn and drink! And they took it all off me! As annoyed as I was, I understood, I understood that it was their policy and that technically I should have just bought everything from there and not been a tight arse (but that's just not me)

I understood, that was, until a guy strolls into the screening, not a bag in sight, a large McDonald's cup in one hand and a McCafe bag in the other... I'm sorry, but is this a joke? How the hell did you manage that one mate? To make matters worse, he was row S seat 17... And here's my ticket

I have never felt the urge to go to the toilet THAT badly, that I had to leave midway through a film I paid £6 to watch! So why is it, that approximately 85% of the audience tonight where playing a game of musical chairs? 

One women stood up, shuffled right the way along her row, shout-whispering "Sorry", "Thank you", "Sorry" as she went, she then walked all the way down the stairs, right up to the screen and attempted to go out the fire exit... At this point I'm left wondering 3 things. 1) That door has a huge green sign above it saying exit, not a stick man wearing a skirt, how did you confuse it with a toilet? 2) You clearly did not enter the room via that door and considering you passed two lots of toilets before reaching screen 7... are you okay? 3) WTF just happened to Ironman?!

There is one kiss in the film, which lasted about 3 seconds. Tony Stark also pulls up in a Audi R8 at one point. How are these events related you may ask? At both points of the film I was taken from the antarctic, to a classroom filled with toddlers who had just learned how to whistle. A monotone wolf whistle to my left, another tone-deaf stuttered attempt coming from my right and what sounded like a gassy fart from the front row. Now lets all calm down and leave the sound effects to the professionals shall we.

And lastly, quite possibly the most irritating, most frustrating, most obnoxious part about the people surrounding you in a cinema is the noise of their existence. Without sounding too unreasonable, I came here to watch a film. I did not spend just under £10 to listen to your impression of Darth Vader, your clueless friends non-stop questions or your son rustling around in his popcorn like a fox through a dustbin.

Thanks so much for reading guys and gals! I'm hoping most of you could relate to this one and that you found it somewhat entertaining haha. Speak again soon!

Love Rosie x

P.S; The film was actually really good by the way! Forgot to mention that haha